I ain't that happy nowadays...

Thinking too much will really drives a person mad. I'm one of the mad man. I hate to do that be I can't seems to shut my mind up. I didn't understand why people says that change in environment will change one's behavior, now I see, when things happened to myself. It happened in both my family and my friends in which I do not want to discuss any of them here because it will cause unnecessary judgement towards me and hurtful to some.

Am I able to cope with the changes? Am I going to win my own internal war? Don't ask me, I've never felt like this before. These are dark days for me. I've never felt so depress for such a long period. I wanted to talk as usual, but I am always waiting for the right time and the right person to talk to, but that tine never came, and for the first time I've kept things to myself. I don't like to bare it myself. I ain't as strong as I look. Ha, you may not know. Not much people know.

Giving myself motivations, pity myself once in a while when I lie in the bed not yet asleep. Self healing is not the best cure for me, I hate being alone. But in times, it might just be something that I had to go through whether I like it or not, it's a lesson that I must learn. Let's just let this unknown issue left unknown.