V for vaccinated

I finally completed my second dose of AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccine. My whole family was the lucky few who managed to register for it. I'm feeling okay so far. My reaction for the first dose was quite apparent, breaking into cold sweat and fever within 18 hours. Second dose however was pretty chill, I mean I am feeling sweatier than usual, but other than that I haven't been feeling any fever. To be honest a little worried since everyone's been saying the side effect on the second dose hits harder and I'm just worried about the efficacy now that I don't have any reaction yet. I know, I know. It doesn't mean it's not working, just you know? Human worries. 

To be honest, I felt a sense of guilt when I see a lot of people who are exposed daily or even high risk individuals haven't got their vaccination yet, while I got mine. At first it was so that I could protect my parents. They are high risk individuals. They got their vaccine too, but it's always to even prevent them from coming into contact with the virus. But now, seeing how the cases had hit 9k today, selfishly I wanted to protect myself too. I'm afraid of catching the virus too and wondering how would that affect me. 

Malaysia is hardly doing well at all. The cases are running high, there's no check and balance in the government, politicians are busy grabbing power, while people are trying their best to stay afloat. I feel bad when I am still planning how to go about my plans of investing, saving, growing money, when I know plenty of organizations, people could use some help. Yet I felt like if I give any, I felt insecure with where I am at. Other than frontliners literally worked to their bones to keep the system from collapsing and people struggling and losing so much that death seems like a better path, everyone is struggling mentally. I'm organizing a video call with my ex colleagues. I was talking to one of them for the past week and she was struggling so badly. I have the luxury of not needing to worry about work, money, or companionship as I am still safe under my parent's roof, but even I am struggling to keep myself functional everyday. None of us sees the end of things, but it is to make the most out of the days we have. Even if it's just staying afloat. 

God bless us all, hang in there.